Abstract
Place and Non-Place
An Exploration of My Experiences with Hallucinations and Cognitive Disarray
A sculptural installation with video projection depicting my favorite meditation space and my childhood home as seen through my eyes during an episode of psychosis
Artist Statement
I am a 24-year-old mixed filipina sculptor. I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia when I was eighteen, and endometriosis when I was 20. Through my work I hope to convey my experiences with these illnesses, specifically schizophrenia, in a way that focuses on how it affects me and the way I interact with the world. Portrayals of schizophrenia in media are generally unkind and sensationalized. I want to show it in a gentler light, and hopefully facilitate empathy instead of fear.
My connection to nature greatly influences my work. For a large portion of my childhood, I lived in the woods of Illinois, ten miles from the closest town. I was homeschooled, not allowed to watch television, and completely enraptured with the forest’s flora and fauna. Rocks, crystals, cicadas, and beetles always featured heavily in my forest walks. Memories of the overgrown houses and cemeteries I would walk past have stayed with me, and I like to think about how nature slowly takes the world back.
I often contemplate perception of reality and how it affects memory. When I look back on times in which I was divorced from reality, what struck me the most was the distortion of space and light around me. It seemed to grow and twist, creating an unrealistic facsimile of the room it inhabited. In much of my work, I seek to create a physical representation of this experience. I am especially drawn to light as a medium.
I want to create large scale installations that portray my experiences with schizophrenia. I would like to lessen the stigma surrounding the condition, and hopefully open a dialogue in which people feel safe to talk about their experiences, and others feel comfortable to ask. I want to create a space for people to connect and learn. I would like to continue with large-scale works along this theme, and possibly hold seminars for people to come together and talk. Above everything, I am trying to find peace. The world can be rough, and I want to help people where I can.