For My thesis, 44°43’22.8”N 123°54’39.7”W, I created a 44 page photobook that creates a new connection between myself and my grandfather. He lived on the Siletz reservation, and I never had the chance to have a personal relationship with him. Through the process of this project I have been able to redefine and mend a relationship that felt negative. I have also been able to create new personal connections with family members living on the Siletz reservation.
The book is a collection of my own 35mm photographs, found family pictures and a few physical objects. Over the span of 4 months I visited the reservation weekly, connecting with family members that knew my grandfather in different ways, they shared their stories and experiences with him and I had the opportunity to understand him in a more complex and human way than before. These 35mm photographs taken serve as documentation of fragmented memories I have on the reservation that revolve around my grandfather and photographs that reflect the stories that were shared from family members I met. Alongside the images made by me are found family photographs of my grandfather from childhood and adulthood. These include images of him with me as an infant, they are the only images I have with him, Memories that are so far away I cannot remember them. These images became the visual aid for the fieldwork I conducted on the reservation. The family photographs also allowed me to see my grandfather as a person, replacing the negative views that were shared with me while I was growing up. Inside the book are a few physical objects: a letter of works that I never had the opportunity to express to him, a ribbon from his funeral as an object of remembrance, and the ceremonial objects of sage and feathers to signify healing, strength and respect. These items represent the healing journey I’ve embarked on and the new found respect I have gained through this process.
This project allowed for the time and space to recontextualize this critical relationship to my grandfather. Most surprisingly, I now feel like I'm able to move forward with my life journey alongside this side of my family that felt so distant but has proven to be generous, loveng and receptive to me embracing exactly who I am.
